Hope

So two weekends ago I was at Discovery Weekend.  I promised I would let you guys know how it went, and when I tried to last week I couldn't do it.  I was still processing, and figuring out what I was feeling and what it all meant to me.  So here I am today after a week of processing in my head all that happened, then finding out where I was appointed, to processing that, I am ready to tell you all that happened.

While at Discovery Weekend we where asked to do several things.  One of which was to not talk about where we wanted to go with each other.  While I wanted to do this, and tried to, I must admit I broke the rule where they asked us not to talk to each other.  One of the things I loved the most about my time at Discovery Weekend, other than the awesome people I met, was that they repeatedly talked to us about how missions is a life.  Each time I sat down to listen to whatever speaker was there, I constantly heard about how I must make my life a daily mission trip.  Something I wake up everyday and say "I will show Christ's love to those around me in whatever way possible."  One of the things that struck me the most that I was told while at Discovery Weekend was that the goal was not to let us know what trip we would be taking this summer.  But instead, we would simply learn about where we would be going next.  For me that was mind blowing.  It's not a trip, it's a life.

One of the things I struggled with the most leading up to Discovery Weekend was fighting doubts I was having.  The biggest being that I was fighting my hope that I would get to go to Alaska.  I kept trying to shut it down.  To be open to whatever God has in store for me.  I finally realized that it was okay for me to hope to go to Alaska.  I love Alaska, I love the people up there, I would love to spend a summer up there.  It clicked in me that I would be fine, if I didn't get to go to Alaska over the summer, but I didn't have to stop hoping I would get to.  After I realized that I would be content with God telling me to spend the summer anywhere from Alaska, somewhere else, or even home in Perryton, I felt a huge freedom.

So at the end of the weekend when I was asked to fill out my preference card, I wrote the two Alaska trips, first was the summer long trip, second was the four week Salmon Frenzy trip.  I also went to my small group leader and talked to her about how while I would love to go to Alaska, I did not feel a strong sense of God telling me to go.  I wanted her to understand that ultimately I was very open to whatever the committee felt God wanted me to go.  I came back to College Station, went on with my life, trying to focus on what I had learned.  Waiting for the hours to pass to when I would find out where I would be asked to go.  I expected the email to come Thursday or Friday, maybe Wednesday.  But Tuesday night I got the email telling me I had been appointed to the summer long Removing Barriers Alaska trip.

I was so surprised and excited, that I called my parents without reading all of the email.  I then called the women, who is the reason I checked my email that night and an awesome example and blessing in my life.  I still don't think it has totally clicked with me that I am going to Alaska all summer long.  I was so surprised that I was appointed to Alaska.  i couldn't believe it.

So in case you missed it, I will be in Alaska from mid May to early August.  While I do not expect it to be easy, and I know I will be stretched and tested in ways I can't even imagine, I am beyond excited.

Love

Tomorrow is Valentines Day, while I have absolutely no reason to celebrate the traditional Valentines day, I do have a reason to love.  Today in church, Pastor David talked about the Valentine Command, "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another."  Each of us as Christians, is  commanded to love those around us.  I have heard this all of my life, but somehow, this morning it really clicked.  I have to love those around me.  One of he things that Pastor Higgs said is "Until I love God like I should, I will never love others like I could."  That really stuck with me.  Lately I have seen over and over how I need to keep God first and center in my life.  Then everything else will work itself out. 


He also said something that scared me a little, he said "Loving others like Jesus did will send me somewhere."  I am leaving for Alaska in a little over twenty days, and I am afraid that I cannot love the people there the way Jesus has called me to love them.  And according to Pastor Higgs, I have o learnt o love Jesus unconditionally before I can even begin o love the people of Alaska. 


Also as many of you know, I applied to be a summer missionary this summer.  This weekend, I am attending Discovery Weekend, his weekend s designed to help me see where God wants me to be this summer.  Who he wants me to serve.  I have been putting off thinking and praying a out where God want me to be, saying I have to wait until Discovery Weekend. And now as this weekend is mere days away, I actually have to look my God in the face and ask Him to reveal his hear to me.  And that is scary for me. 


So, today I want to change what I write here a little.  I would like to ask you to pray for me.  Pray that I will have an open heart to what God has for me.  Pray that my heart will be the hear of God.  Pray that me and all those there this weekend will be open to what God is revealing to us.  


I would also like to ask you to pray for the people of Nome.  Lisa, Kirsten, myself and dozens of other volunteers will descend upon Nome in a few short weeks, pray that all of us would be ready to get our of our comfort zone and be ready to show Christ's love to those around us.  Pray that all the volunteers are able to bridge relationships for Christ with several segments of the race and village community.


I will continue to post new prayer requests as our trip gets closer and I will be sure to post how this weekend goes.  Thank you all for your support for me and everyone else going on this trip.  I would not be where I am today without the support of those around me.  And for that I am supremely grateful. 

Lessons

Yesterday I got an email from my Dad telling me that he wanted to hear about Abide.  I know I said I would tell you guys about it.  But, part of me was hoping that I wouldn’t have to think about what to say and in that way hide from what I had been taught, convicted of, and enjoyed.  No matter how good of a weekend it was, I knew in order to appreciate that, I would have to accept the things God taught me.  So, somewhat unconsciously, I decided to just act like last weekend did not happen.  It was easier to hide, instead of looking forward.  

I decided early last week to spend Friday night and Saturday at a prayer retreat kind of thing, called Abide.  We got their late Friday night and after the opening service I went to  the different experiences.  They where rooms set up for a specific purpose.  Their was Confession, Adoration, the Ends of the Earth, Judea-the lost, Supplication-standing in the gap, Thanksgiving, Jerusalem-Texas campuses, a place for fellowship, and a room where you could create something.  As I looked at the list of all these places I could go, I had a sense that I had to get myself right with God before I could ever begin to be in fellowship with Him.  So after spending about two hours clearing my heart and mind so I could be free I felt tired, like I wanted to go sleep before I entered what I was hoping would be a day full of praise, worship, love, and fellowship.

The next morning I woke up early did my Bible study and then walked down to the lake.  As I stood there looking at the lake, in the cool morning air, thinking about how I was given a new beautiful morning.  I thought of all the times God has given me a second chance.  It happens everyday, yet I rarely stop to say thanks.  Saturday morning opened my eyes and heart to being grateful for what Christ has given me.  I spent a lot of time writing in my journal, one of the things I remember that stood out to me the most happened when I was in the Adoration room.

While in their the people that had set up the room asked us to think about what adoration meant to me.  As I thought about that a picture appeared in my mind.  It was a picture of a newly married couple, ones that when they looked at each other everyone around them knew that they where totally in love with each other.  That when they are apart their spouse is all they can think about, they tell everyone around them about the love of their life.  I was hit with how that should be how I am with Christ.  Everyone should be able to tell by looking at me that  I am in love with Christ.  I should want to tell everyone I see that Jesus is my hero, that he is my all.  When I am not talking to Him, I should be thinking about him.  When I sit in class, I shouldn’t be able to concentrate on my professor, I should be thinking about when I get to be with Christ.  The one word that kept coming to my mind was consuming.  I should be consumed with Christ.  

So know I have been forced to look back on those two days and see what God taught me.  I needed the prompting of my Dad to open up and apply what I was taught.  So thanks Dad, I love you and thanks for the encouragement.