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Sunday, October 20, 2013

100%


Being a 100% in something means more than just committing yourself totally to something. It also means giving up everything that does not line up with the goal you have committed to whole heartily. 

This realization today was a hard pill to swallow. See even though I'm in Oregon and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am supposed to be here, sometimes I don't want to be. I want to be wholly here. Sold out to the cause and place God has put me in. Yet more often than not I still struggle with making that true. 

In order to make the transition from not totally here, to totally be here I have to give up an end date. I can’t focus on June when my “time” here is done. I can’t keep the escape plan in mind. For as far as I know I may be in Oregon for the next decade of my life. Horror of horrors I might meet some guy with a nice job in down town Eugene, with a house where I can spit and hit my neighbors window, and trees surrounding me making me want to escape to the wide open spaces everyday. 

I am here until He moves me somewhere else. 

And that is so hard to swallow. If could guess at how my heart is divided based on the places I am passionate about this is it. 

45% belongs to Alaska. The people there, the work that is being done and that needs to be done. I can't even but words to how much I want to be in Alaska. 

20% belongs to Texas. Home, family, Texas A&M, the life long relationships I have formed there. 

15% goes to the rest of the world. All the places I have heard about and can’t wait to see. 

20% belongs to Oregon. I haven’t been able to totally and completely commit here. To let go of the dreams I have for other places. Thats my struggle. The reason behind me totally realizing how far I have left to go in this crazy journey called life.

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Bucket List

So I decided it was time to update my bucket list and create a new one for my year in Oregon. Here is my original list with an update on what I have completed and what I still have left to do.

  • Drive to Alaska
    • I did this in the spring of 2012. It was such an amazing opportunity. To see half the country, between Texas and Alaska. One week on the road with two and three of my favorite people. It was an awesome week and such a cool experience to see so much of our beautiful country and Canada.  
  • Get one of my stories published in print media
    • Still working on this one.
  • Visit New Zealand
    • Waiting for the right opportunity, this one is at the top of the list
  • Show Mom and the rest of my family the state I love (Alaska)
    • July 2013 all of my family, including my grandmother and brother in law went to Alaska for a little over a week. We were able to serve with a ministry I have worked with for the last three summers and see a small part of the state I love so much.
  • Beat my sisters to Alaska
    • Spring Break 2010-My first trip to Alaska. It was over three years until any of my sisters went. 
  • See the Aurora Borealis
    • I saw a small set outside a plane window spring break 2012. But  I am still waiting to see them in their full glory. 
  • See Nome in the summer
    • Sort of. I was there in May of 2013. But not the truly gorgeous part of the summer. Can't wait for that day. 
  • Go bungee jumping
    • Nope still waiting
  • Learn to fly
    • Haven't even begun to think about this one. It is still on the list though!
  • Have residency in Alaska
    • Not yet. Hopefully soon. I don't know exactly where I am going but every part of me hopes Alaska is part of the plan soon. 
  • Visit every continent (including Antarctica)
    • Still only been to two. North America, and Europe.
  • Fill up a passport
    • The last time I went out of the country they wouldn't even stamp it!
  • Go skydiving
    • This is one I want to do so bad! But I haven't really found someone to do it with me yet. Which is unfortunate.
Now to add a few things to the list.  

  • Travel to Africa with ISF
  • Take the ferry up the inside passage
  • Try all of the favorite Native Foods, even stinky foot
  • Learn about other cultures by building relationships with people who have grown up in other parts of the world
My bucket list for my year in Oregon.

  • See crater lake
  • Watch the Goonies then see the beach where it was filmed
  • Develop deep relationships with students and help bring them closer to Christ
  • See at least 3 of the waterfalls I have heard so much about 
  • Go skiing on the West Coast
  • Explore Seattle
  • Take at least five random road trips to explore the area I am in 

Monday, October 7, 2013

Patience

patience |ˈpā sh əns|
nounthe capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering withoutgetting angry or upset
Patience is not something I am great at. Just ask those who where summer missionaries with me in 2011. I still think Whitney praying for my patience is the reason behind half the issues I had that summer. 
Needless to say it seems that patience is one of those things that no matter how hard I work on it, I still have so much to learn.
Recently I read Tangible Kingdom. It is an amazing book that has not only made me think about my relationship with Christ, to how I relate to those around me. One of the biggest things I realized while reading was how patient we must be with those around me. I cannot have an agenda when I am with those around me. Whether they are Christian or not, my only agenda should be to love them like Christ loved them. 
This concept really hit home when I started thinking about my own life. I was in church pretty much every Sunday from the time of conception throughout my whole life. Yet I did not accept Christ until I was nine years old. 
That is nine years, 468 weeks, 3,285 days, and 78,840 hours of influence about who Christ is before I even admitted I needed Him. If that's how long it took for me, a person who was literally surrounded by people who love Christ with their entire being, those that are not could take so much longer. 
This discovery made me feel two things. First, it gave me an appreciation and awareness for how long this process could take. How much it will require of me, if I am going to be able to have the patience to love someone to Christ I am really going to have to love them. After all if someone is going to be in my life for nine years or more I am going to care about them. 
Second, it is somewhat depressing. To know that for years I may see nothing to show a person even cares about the one thing that has singularly shaped my life. 
I figure though that if Christ can give up his life for me, I can at least give up some of my time to show that love to those around me. 

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Make Disciples

What makes a good disciple? What makes a good disciple maker? Those are two questions many in the Christian community ask themselves and those around them. I don't have the perfect answer, or the checklist of what makes or breaks disciples. But one thing I have heard from numerous different people about disciple making seems accurate.

It goes something like this, "A good disciple maker is not know by how many people they are discipling, how awesome and up to date their curriculum is, but by whether their disciples go out and make their own disciples." The mission of the church, I believe, should be to raise up disciples that make disciples.

I am not one of those people. I have never really discipled, mentored or whatevered anyone. But I know someone who has. They have fulfilled that purpose of raising up disciples that go and disciple others.

That someone is Kimberly. This amazing young women I met just over three years ago. At that time in my life I was a freshman at Texas A&M. New in town, I knew no one except this girl named Kimberly who was an Intern at the BSM and someone I met two weeks before at a conference in New Mexico.

Right after school started I walked into her office and handed her a letter asking her how she would feel about mentoring me. I  knew I needed someone to come beside me and help me through this time of deciding who I was going to be in life. And I also knew I would probably chicken out while asking. Thus the letter. It forced my hand.

From that moment on, I had someone in my corner. Someone who cared about me and loved me, even when I was being difficult. We would hang out and talk about life, relationships, Jesus. It didn't really matter what I needed or where I was at in life, I knew she would listen.

The spring of 2012 was supposed to be the last time I would be in the same town as Kimberly for the foreseeable future. I was crushed, this woman who had become a confident and amazing friend was leaving. And I was still going to be in College Station for at least another year.

But God works in mysterious ways. She went back to school to get her masters degree at Texas A&M and was there for my final year. Over the course of the three years of knowing her our friendship has grown and changed. I never would have imagined the blessing she is in my life.

Kimberly is an amazing disciple maker. How do I know? Because she helped shape me. I have not discipled someone to the point of themselves making disciples, but she has. I am now in a position of working with college students and disciple girls. I have no idea what I am doing or how it will turn out. But I had an awesome teacher!

My life would look nothing like it does without the influence of Kimberly. I miss being able to crash her house, talk into the night or simply be together. She is amazing and I love her and all she does for the kingdom of Christ. Can't wait to see her soon!