Scared...Alaska

In two weeks I will be back in Alaska. Nome specifically. But today after sorting out lots of paperwork and finding all the information need for my team, I became overwhelmed with a sense of dread almost.

This trip is turning out to be totally different than any other one I have been on. I find myself looking forward to seeing all the people I have built relationships with. The people who have become like family, those who have helped me learn and grow so much. But I seeing them should not be why I am going. I will have all of eternity to spend with them. What about those people I encounter who right now have no hope for the future? Have I been praying for them daily?

Yes, my heart breaks for them and I desperately want them to see the truth and healing that comes through Christ, but is that why I am going?  Is it because of Romans 10:14 "How then will they call on Him in whom they have not believed? How will they believe in Him whom they have not heard? And how will they hear without a preacher?" Am I going to be a voice of hope that they have not heard. Or will I get scared and revert back to what is comfortable for me?  And not step out of my comfort zone to be a tool of the Lord.  I don't know. Right now, I think of the ways I have thought of totally rearranging my life to be there more often and I still go back to what is my motive.


I don't have that answer yet.  Please be praying for me, a friend put Romans 1:12 at the end of a note she sent me "that is, that I may be encouraged together with you while among you, each of us by the other's faith, both yours and mine." This is my prayer that I can encourage them in their faith, and them me in mine.  I know the Lord will work no matter my motives, but I want to be right with Him every step of the way.