Generosity

A few weeks ago at church the topic of the night was generosity. After the sermon each week there has been a time of application called "so what." That week during the "so what" we where challenged to give all we had, not the excess. Each person was challenged to remove the shoes they had on their feet and give them to a person in need through the Eugene Mission. 

That night I did not remove my shoes. I had several good reasons. The pair I had on where not my favorite, or even shoes I liked all that much. But I immediately felt that I was to give away my boots. They are some of my favorite shoes, a gift from family, and a connection to Texas while I am in Oregon. 

I didn't do it. I had many opportunities. I kept talking myself out of it. Saying I would give someone something over Christmas. Or saying I had done enough. After all I support missions, I bought Christmas presents for three children in Savoonga. I gave God a year of my life to serve in Oregon. But guess what? All my reason sucked. They where just excuses. And lame ones at that. 

Over the last few weeks I have been reading Crazy Love. This book has made me stop and evaluate much of my life. The last chapter is what really got to me yesterday. Francis Chan challenged everyone reading his book to not just be convicted. If that is all we are getting out of church, his book, or our personal quite time, we are failing. Jesus doesn't want a world of convicted coach potatoes, he wants people radically loving as He loved. 

So I finally broke down and knew I had to do what might hurt. I needed to give something away that tore at my heart so I would be able to be filled with Jesus. Last night I gave the boots away. 

I'm not writing this to say look at what I did. If anything I want you to realize how dumb I am and not be like me. How could I think a pair of boots would offer me love and satisfaction than the creator of the universe. And guess what it wasn't that bad. Sure I will notice they are gone when I go home and just want to country dance in my boots. But guess what, my favorite part of dancing is time with friends and thankfully that is not dependent on my footwear. At least I hope not. And I can always borrow my little sisters boots for a day. 

So here's my prayer for each of you reading this. During this season of giving, give where it hurts. Yours may not be shoes. It may be not saving that Christmas bonus, but giving it away. It may be spending Christmas away from family and instead with those who have no one. Maybe its blessing those around you anonymously. Whatever it is, give until it hurts. Just as the widow with two pennies did. God took care of her and I'm betting He hasn't changed in the last 2,000 years. Trust me it hurts, but its a good hurt. Like getting a massage, it hurts so good.  

100%

Being a 100% in something means more than just committing yourself totally to something. It also means giving up everything that does not line up with the goal you have committed to whole heartily. 

This realization today was a hard pill to swallow. See even though I'm in Oregon and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am supposed to be here, sometimes I don't want to be. I want to be wholly here. Sold out to the cause and place God has put me in. Yet more often than not I still struggle with making that true. 

In order to make the transition from not totally here, to totally be here I have to give up an end date. I can’t focus on June when my “time” here is done. I can’t keep the escape plan in mind. For as far as I know I may be in Oregon for the next decade of my life. Horror of horrors I might meet some guy with a nice job in down town Eugene, with a house where I can spit and hit my neighbors window, and trees surrounding me making me want to escape to the wide open spaces everyday. 

I am here until He moves me somewhere else. 

And that is so hard to swallow. If could guess at how my heart is divided based on the places I am passionate about this is it. 

45% belongs to Alaska. The people there, the work that is being done and that needs to be done. I can't even but words to how much I want to be in Alaska. 

20% belongs to Texas. Home, family, Texas A&M, the life long relationships I have formed there. 

15% goes to the rest of the world. All the places I have heard about and can’t wait to see. 

20% belongs to Oregon. I haven’t been able to totally and completely commit here. To let go of the dreams I have for other places. Thats my struggle. The reason behind me totally realizing how far I have left to go in this crazy journey called life.

Bucket List

So I decided it was time to update my bucket list and create a new one for my year in Oregon. Here is my original list with an update on what I have completed and what I still have left to do.

• Drive to Alaska
• I did this in the spring of 2012. It was such an amazing opportunity. To see half the country, between Texas and Alaska. One week on the road with two and three of my favorite people. It was an awesome week and such a cool experience to see so much of our beautiful country and Canada.  
• Get one of my stories published in print media
• Still working on this one.

• Visit New Zealand
• Waiting for the right opportunity, this one is at the top of the list
• Show Mom and the rest of my family the state I love (Alaska)
• July 2013 all of my family, including my grandmother and brother in law went to Alaska for a little over a week. We were able to serve with a ministry I have worked with for the last three summers and see a small part of the state I love so much.
• Beat my sisters to Alaska
• Spring Break 2010-My first trip to Alaska. It was over three years until any of my sisters went. 

• See the Aurora Borealis
• I saw a small set outside a plane window spring break 2012. But  I am still waiting to see them in their full glory. 
• See Nome in the summer
• Sort of. I was there in May of 2013. But not the truly gorgeous part of the summer. Can't wait for that day. 
• Go bungee jumping
• Nope still waiting
• Learn to fly
• Haven't even begun to think about this one. It is still on the list though!
• Have residency in Alaska
• Not yet. Hopefully soon. I don't know exactly where I am going but every part of me hopes Alaska is part of the plan soon. 
• Visit every continent (including Antarctica)
• Still only been to two. North America, and Europe.
• Fill up a passport
• The last time I went out of the country they wouldn't even stamp it!
• Go skydiving
• This is one I want to do so bad! But I haven't really found someone to do it with me yet. Which is unfortunate.

Now to add a few things to the list.  

• Travel to Africa with ISF
• Take the ferry up the inside passage
• Try all of the favorite Native Foods, even stinky foot
• Learn about other cultures by building relationships with people who have grown up in other parts of the world

My bucket list for my year in Oregon.

• See crater lake
• Watch the Goonies then see the beach where it was filmed
• Develop deep relationships with students and help bring them closer to Christ
• See at least 3 of the waterfalls I have heard so much about 
• Go skiing on the West Coast
• Explore Seattle
• Take at least five random road trips to explore the area I am in 

Patience

patience |ˈpā sh əns|
noun1 the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering withoutgetting angry or upset
Patience is not something I am great at. Just ask those who where summer missionaries with me in 2011. I still think Whitney praying for my patience is the reason behind half the issues I had that summer. 
Needless to say it seems that patience is one of those things that no matter how hard I work on it, I still have so much to learn.
Recently I read Tangible Kingdom. It is an amazing book that has not only made me think about my relationship with Christ, to how I relate to those around me. One of the biggest things I realized while reading was how patient we must be with those around me. I cannot have an agenda when I am with those around me. Whether they are Christian or not, my only agenda should be to love them like Christ loved them. 
This concept really hit home when I started thinking about my own life. I was in church pretty much every Sunday from the time of conception throughout my whole life. Yet I did not accept Christ until I was nine years old. 
That is nine years, 468 weeks, 3,285 days, and 78,840 hours of influence about who Christ is before I even admitted I needed Him. If that's how long it took for me, a person who was literally surrounded by people who love Christ with their entire being, those that are not could take so much longer. 
This discovery made me feel two things. First, it gave me an appreciation and awareness for how long this process could take. How much it will require of me, if I am going to be able to have the patience to love someone to Christ I am really going to have to love them. After all if someone is going to be in my life for nine years or more I am going to care about them. 
Second, it is somewhat depressing. To know that for years I may see nothing to show a person even cares about the one thing that has singularly shaped my life. 
I figure though that if Christ can give up his life for me, I can at least give up some of my time to show that love to those around me. 

Make Disciples

What makes a good disciple? What makes a good disciple maker? Those are two questions many in the Christian community ask themselves and those around them. I don't have the perfect answer, or the checklist of what makes or breaks disciples. But one thing I have heard from numerous different people about disciple making seems accurate.

It goes something like this, "A good disciple maker is not know by how many people they are discipling, how awesome and up to date their curriculum is, but by whether their disciples go out and make their own disciples." The mission of the church, I believe, should be to raise up disciples that make disciples.

I am not one of those people. I have never really discipled, mentored or whatevered anyone. But I know someone who has. They have fulfilled that purpose of raising up disciples that go and disciple others.

That someone is Kimberly. This amazing young women I met just over three years ago. At that time in my life I was a freshman at Texas A&M. New in town, I knew no one except this girl named Kimberly who was an Intern at the BSM and someone I met two weeks before at a conference in New Mexico.

Right after school started I walked into her office and handed her a letter asking her how she would feel about mentoring me. I  knew I needed someone to come beside me and help me through this time of deciding who I was going to be in life. And I also knew I would probably chicken out while asking. Thus the letter. It forced my hand.

From that moment on, I had someone in my corner. Someone who cared about me and loved me, even when I was being difficult. We would hang out and talk about life, relationships, Jesus. It didn't really matter what I needed or where I was at in life, I knew she would listen.

The spring of 2012 was supposed to be the last time I would be in the same town as Kimberly for the foreseeable future. I was crushed, this woman who had become a confident and amazing friend was leaving. And I was still going to be in College Station for at least another year.

But God works in mysterious ways. She went back to school to get her masters degree at Texas A&M and was there for my final year. Over the course of the three years of knowing her our friendship has grown and changed. I never would have imagined the blessing she is in my life.

Kimberly is an amazing disciple maker. How do I know? Because she helped shape me. I have not discipled someone to the point of themselves making disciples, but she has. I am now in a position of working with college students and disciple girls. I have no idea what I am doing or how it will turn out. But I had an awesome teacher!

My life would look nothing like it does without the influence of Kimberly. I miss being able to crash her house, talk into the night or simply be together. She is amazing and I love her and all she does for the kingdom of Christ. Can't wait to see her soon!

A heart like His

This morning I spent a couple hours walking around campus, exploring and praying. Most of the students on campus right now are international students. These are the same students we are focusing on reaching and interacting with over the next year.

As I sat on a bench next to the living learning center, an area dedicated to helping international students succeed in their time at the University of Oregon. I prayed for them, dreamed of ways to interact with them. While sitting there I realized something about myself that I hope you will join me in praying for.

I need a heart for the international students on this campus. A heart that reflects God's heart for them. His unconditional, total and complete love. International students are not something I have been very involved in, but I know it is something God has planned for me.

I have know I have a heart for native Alaskans for a while now. That heart is something I truly believe God gave me, but I know to say that is the only people He can burden my heart for is limiting my God. Pray for me as I start this journey that every student, international or American I interact with I see through God's eyes.

A hidden future

It has been almost a week since I returned to Texas after my time in Alaska. I was there for Salmon Frenzy, a project I have been very involved in for the last two years. Over those two years much has changed about my life, where I am in Christ and what my future plans might be.

Three years ago I never imagined I would be leading a team of my family to Alaska to a place I love so dearly. I still cannot even begin to put into words all that this trip meant and how each day impacted me. But I will try. I am hoping to have several posts to give you a small picture of what it was like for me, today I am going to start with where my heart and mind are focused right now. The end of the trip and my time since I have been home.

After our week of serving at Salmon Frenzy, my family spent a few days in Palmer. While there we spent nearly all of our time with different friends. Some friends we have known as a family for ages, some of my friends that became my families friends during Salmon Frenzy and some just my friends who I wanted to meet my family. The last category is the one I am focused on right now. 

All of the times I have spent in Alaska God has blessed me with people who have become like family. I look to them for advice and encouragement, and they give me more blessings and love than I could ever imagine. 

Some of these people are the Whitson’s. Brian, Kristin and the kids have given me so much in the year I have known them. From a place to stay and a friendly face at the airport, to godly advice and words of wisdom. I have seen them pursue Christ and what he wants from them relentlessly. Even when those around them do not understand their decisions. 

Another one of these people is Aaron Brown. From our first come to Jesus meeting three summers ago to now you have been a steady friend. I know my first summer in Alaska was a trying time for you, I relayed on your leadership to get me through some of the tough spots. It wasn’t until you had to leave early that I realized exactly how much a part of my life you had become. Ever since I have know I could talk to you about whatever, whenever. Especially now when I get texts at midnight asking me if I’m still awake. 

Together the Whitson’s and Aaron make up  the founders of SMAK. An organization that seeks to share the love of Christ through meeting the needs of people all across Alaska through construction. I have been privileged to see first hand how God has directed your steps and led you to where you are. He is using and blessing this ministry and it is amazing to watch. 

As I prepared to leave Alaska Friday night, both of you told me you needed me in Alaska. That there was a spot for me whenever I could get there. This isn’t the first time you both have asked me why I am moving to Oregon, but it is the first time you have told me you are praying me to Alaska sooner rather than later. A fact that is scary considering the last time I was told that. It doesn’t help that they have put action to their words, even if it is just feelers for how things could change in their favor.  

I know I'm missing, Lord willing one day it will be the three of us,
praying for the next person to join our team. 

All of us know that I have committed to Oregon and that is where I will be until next June.  But we all, at least at some level, wish I was moving to Alaska instead. It is such a blessing to know that I am wanted, that someone recognizes the gifts and talents God has given me. To realize they think about me being on their team often. To know that none of us know what God has in store for me over the next year, but it will bring me new opportunities to grown in Him and learn things I need to know in order to serve better. 

I have no guarantees that come June I will head North. But I know I want that with all my heart, and that SMAK, Brian and Aaron want it as well. Keep the texts with my empty chair coming guys. Each one is an encouragement and reminder of where God could take me. Even if everyone of them makes me want to keep driving past Eugene and catch the ferry to Whittier. 

Those of you reading this, I hope it encourages you to do what you know Christ has led you to do. Even if it is hard or you wonder if you made the right decision. I look back at my time in the MSC and know I am where I am supposed to be. I also know my God is a big God and likes to show the world how He loves us. So I won’t stop hoping that maybe I will get to Alaska before June. But I will also pour everything I have into serving where He has placed me.

Pray for me. As the next few weeks come to a close and I move to a new life. Pray that I would see the opportunities Christ has given me for showing His love. That I would be content and wholly serving where I am. Not looking to the future. If you would like to be on the list I send specific prayer requests to, please email me at sarahsakadventure@gmail.com. I am so grateful for those of you who have, are and will be supporting me in this way.  

Thoughts

Recently while listening to a podcast of the large, on-campus, Bible study at Texas A&M University called Breakaway, I have been given many things to thing about. One of which is where my heart is. What in my life defines who I am.

One question Ben Stuart, the director of Breakaway asked, was does our lifestyle reflect what we love? Many of us as American college students say we are christians and believe in God. But when you start asking us how we spend our time, what we buy and where our money goes, it does not line up with what we say.

I was extremely convicted by this and so I started wondering, would my answer be any different than of those around me? Today, with extreme certainty looking back on the last few days I can say yes, my answer is different. In the last week, I have bought blankets, sheets, mattress toppers, Bibles, and coffee creamer.  All items to be given away in a little over a week when I am back in Alaska.

Outside of those items I have bought items to fulfill my basic needs. Food, shampoo, toothpaste, gas, things along those lines. All things necessary for my life, but very little outside of that. Yes I went out to eat, but every time it was to spend more quality time with friends, building relationships with those around me.

But any other day of the year would my answer still match what I say? I don't know. The last week of my life has been spent preparing for the time when I get back on the airplane to head North. I have talked with people I am beyond blessed to know to get their advice on how to effectively serve while I am in Alaska. I have spent money purchasing items to take with us to further the ministry we are working with.

Yesterday was a highlight for me. Spending time comparing prices, totaling weights and pursuing what is most needed in Nome. An entire afternoon with awesome friends finding exactly what we could take with us. It was a great day. A day where I knew that what I had done that day had a purpose. It would impact eternity.

Those are the days I live for. But when I am struggling with school, having trouble finding the motivation to keep going and do everything for the glory of God, those days are tough.

While right now I can confidently say I am living to serve God. But I can also confidently say that it is not the same answer every other day of the year. It is still a struggle to wake up and be fully committed to what God is doing every minute of every day. But it is a battle worth fighting. Because by doing so, not only am I guaranteed to win, I am guaranteed to help others along the way.

Captive Freedom

Two words that many would consider oxymoron's. But recently both these words have come to hold significant importance in my life. You see while many would see these words as seemingly polar opposites in every way. I see them as complementing each other, in a very strange way.

Captive: The dictionary definition of captive is somewhat depressing. But at the same time it means holding the attention of someone or something. Holding it, containing it in some way. 

Freedom: Being able to share your thoughts, desires, emotions without the threat of repercussions. Not being contained, able to move about, go where you desire. 

These two words are truly antonyms. But they belong together. 

2 Corinthians 10:5 tells us to take every thought captive to obey Christ. This is one of my daily struggles. It seems simple in theory, but in reality it's one of the toughest things I have ever attempted. Focusing on Christ is so important, yet terribly difficult. At times, even impossible. 

Galatians 5:1 tells us that in freedom Christ has set us free. No longer to be under a yoke of slavery. Christ gives us freedom. He allows me to go where I want to, be what I want to be. 

But how do I get that freedom in Christ? By being His. Surrendering my life to him. Being captive to Him. 

You see by having and being captive freedom I become all Christ wants me to be. I can reach the full potential He has laid out for me. Captive Freedom is restraining the bad and embracing the good. Through the combination I am much better off than simply restraining the bad or embracing the good. This combination is amazing and empowering. 

I have no idea if this even makes sense, but it is something I have felt compelled to share. I hope it makes you stop and think about where you might be and the potential to where you can go.