Why

I am sure that many of you are wondering why I started this blog.  Why it has a strange url, and why the title is even stranger.  So I will try and explain why I chose the names I did.  The url my light in the shadow  was chosen because it s how I have seen my life for many years on more than one level.


First, as the third daughter and youngest daughter, in our "first" family.  I often felt unworthy, or not good enough compared to my older sisters.  I mean how can I compare, with a state level food and nutrition winner, a girl who finished her college career in two years?  Then moved oversees for another couple of years. 


Or how about my other sister, the one who went oversees at fourteen.  Who has an amazing eye for photography, that she has made into a successful business.  One who lived oversees for a year right out of high school, then decided when she got back to not go to college, but instead leave herself available for on missions opportunity she had.  Not to mention she can write and take pictures that make people cry within seconds of seeing them. 


Not to mention, my brother who can talk his way out of almost anything, or someone else into anything.  And is amazing in the kitchen.  Or the four little kids who continue to amaze me with all they are doing, even for their young age. 


Then there's me.  The girl who while I have been on some mission trips, I have never given more than a few weeks of my time for God.  I am pursuing the "normal" life, graduate from high school, attend college, get a job.  Nothing to exciting for me.  While I truly struggled with not being good enough for years, that is (usually) not a problem for me anymore.  I now know that God made just one me. So I need to be a light to those around me, even while living in the shadow of others. 


Second, it is my desire to be the light in the midst of the shadows cast by sin in my life.  I am not so naive to think that I will ever be sinless.  But I do want to be a Christ's light to those around me even while being my imperfect self.  So that is the story behind the name.


The title, comes from a quote I heard back in my target shooting days.  I heard this from a man who was helping me learn how to be a better shooter.  Shooting is a mental game and the only way to be good at it is to be able to let go of what you do wrong and focus instead on what you did right.  But at the same time seeing what you did wrong and learning from it.  That is my goal in life, to see the mistakes I have made, make the moves necessary to correct them.  Then forget about them, let Christ's love and forgiveness wash over me, and move on to the next challenge in life. 


I won't make any promises about what will be said on here, when I will post or anything.  But my prayer is that by being open,  one person will be encouraged.  If that is all that happens it has been worth  my time.