Not on me

So other than the fact that the Lady Aggie's are National Champions, last night was an awesome night and in more ways than one.  The game was great, it is always fun to watch a game with friends that are just as into it, if not more than I am.  An apartment full of friends, an awesome game, and fellowship before, during, and afterward.

After the game, our journey group came back to campus to catch up on our Bible study.  While it was awesome, to talk with them, learn with them, and laugh with them.  But the point of this post occurred today.  Jeff asked us to find something to share with the group from our personal bible study this week.  I was up until one last night, watching the game and doing our bible study.  This morning I woke up tired, overwhelmed, and slightly depressed.  But I started praying, because I didn't want to get out of bed and I didn't know what else to do.  After I got ready, I read Philippians 4 because I was looking for Philippians 4:13, I can do all things in Christ.  But I read the whole chapter, it is an awesome chapter.  Full of encouragement and support for me.

Today has been a miracle in my eyes.  I should have been supper tired all day.  But I really didn't ever feel tired.  I had dozens of homework problems due, had to be in class or work from 8 to 5 minus about 3 hours total in between classes and work.  All this to say, my homework is done, I made it through all my classes, and discovered that I am loved and held.

When I took the time to say "God I can't do this anymore, I need your help."  I read Philippians 4, saw all the awesome truths and promises in that chapter.  Why don't I let God handle my problems everyday?  Why do I feel like I have to make it on my own?  Today, was a miracle in my life, I saw how big my God is.  He loves me, holds me, and wants the best for me.

Several weeks ago when I was feeling really down, I got in bed, and cried out to God.  In that moment I felt Him hold me, and I got this picture in my head.  It was of my Dad, or any guy I trust giving me a hug, holding me, protecting me, showing me he loves me, telling me it will be okay.  I could feel Him holding me, protecting me, loving me.  I saw the picture we had from Sunday School, wit the giant hand holding the globe.  And I thought that is a bunch of crap, I don't want a God who holds the whole world, a world where when you look at the whole thing you can't even see me.  You can't tell if I am alive or dead, happy or sad.  I want a God that holds me, in the best of times and in the worst of times, my God will hold me and uphold me.

And the best news, all I have to do is let go and let Him be there for me.  So if you are one of those people who remind me of who my God is; Thank You!  You guys are the reason I am who I am .  If you are one of those guys who has held me when I was breaking; Thank You!  You have no idea how much it means to have friends I can lean on.  And a God who holds me.