Hope

So two weekends ago I was at Discovery Weekend.  I promised I would let you guys know how it went, and when I tried to last week I couldn't do it.  I was still processing, and figuring out what I was feeling and what it all meant to me.  So here I am today after a week of processing in my head all that happened, then finding out where I was appointed, to processing that, I am ready to tell you all that happened.

While at Discovery Weekend we where asked to do several things.  One of which was to not talk about where we wanted to go with each other.  While I wanted to do this, and tried to, I must admit I broke the rule where they asked us not to talk to each other.  One of the things I loved the most about my time at Discovery Weekend, other than the awesome people I met, was that they repeatedly talked to us about how missions is a life.  Each time I sat down to listen to whatever speaker was there, I constantly heard about how I must make my life a daily mission trip.  Something I wake up everyday and say "I will show Christ's love to those around me in whatever way possible."  One of the things that struck me the most that I was told while at Discovery Weekend was that the goal was not to let us know what trip we would be taking this summer.  But instead, we would simply learn about where we would be going next.  For me that was mind blowing.  It's not a trip, it's a life.

One of the things I struggled with the most leading up to Discovery Weekend was fighting doubts I was having.  The biggest being that I was fighting my hope that I would get to go to Alaska.  I kept trying to shut it down.  To be open to whatever God has in store for me.  I finally realized that it was okay for me to hope to go to Alaska.  I love Alaska, I love the people up there, I would love to spend a summer up there.  It clicked in me that I would be fine, if I didn't get to go to Alaska over the summer, but I didn't have to stop hoping I would get to.  After I realized that I would be content with God telling me to spend the summer anywhere from Alaska, somewhere else, or even home in Perryton, I felt a huge freedom.

So at the end of the weekend when I was asked to fill out my preference card, I wrote the two Alaska trips, first was the summer long trip, second was the four week Salmon Frenzy trip.  I also went to my small group leader and talked to her about how while I would love to go to Alaska, I did not feel a strong sense of God telling me to go.  I wanted her to understand that ultimately I was very open to whatever the committee felt God wanted me to go.  I came back to College Station, went on with my life, trying to focus on what I had learned.  Waiting for the hours to pass to when I would find out where I would be asked to go.  I expected the email to come Thursday or Friday, maybe Wednesday.  But Tuesday night I got the email telling me I had been appointed to the summer long Removing Barriers Alaska trip.

I was so surprised and excited, that I called my parents without reading all of the email.  I then called the women, who is the reason I checked my email that night and an awesome example and blessing in my life.  I still don't think it has totally clicked with me that I am going to Alaska all summer long.  I was so surprised that I was appointed to Alaska.  i couldn't believe it.

So in case you missed it, I will be in Alaska from mid May to early August.  While I do not expect it to be easy, and I know I will be stretched and tested in ways I can't even imagine, I am beyond excited.