Praying and Cattle Drives

On Good Friday our collegiate ministry participated in Secret Church with David Platt. This marathon night of teaching was awesome. David Platt said at the beginning that we would be drinking from a fire-hose. And he was totally accurate. It was great, but super overwhelming. I would recommend it to anyone. 

One of the things that really stuck out to me the whole night was when he was talking about prayer. How so often we may feel like we may be disturbing God with our prayers. Jesus talks about this in Luke 11 

"Then He said to them, “Suppose one of you has a friend, and goes to him at midnight and says to him, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves; for a friend of mine has come to me from a journey, and I have nothing to set before him’; and from inside he answers and says, ‘Do not bother me; the door has already been shut and my children and I are in bed; I cannot get up and give you anything.’ I tell you, even though he will not get up and give him anything because he is his friend, yet because of his persistence he will get up and give him as much as he needs."

David Platt talked about how God wants to hear from us and it isn't about bothering him, but more about allowing him to be a huge part of our life. As I was thinking about this and what it must have been for the man who's door was being knocked on at midnight, I remembered something that happened to me last summer. 

It's late June in the Texas Panhandle. Extremely hot an we were moving cattle. Since it was so hot we were doing it at night hoping that it would be easier in the slightly cooler weather. 

Here are a few pictures from that night. The sunsets where when we began and the last one shows us moving cattle. That's what it was like for us, we had very little light to see by. Which is a whole other story. 

As the night progressed we realized the cattle where overheating and bloating. We lost one and nearly lost a few others. When we were about half-way we knew we couldn't keep going. We were close to some friends house and ranch which is where the analogy begins. 

I went up to their door about 1 in the morning and knocked on the door to ask if we could put the cattle in their holding pens to let them rest for a few hours before we kept going. We knew we had to do something. I knocked and knocked and knocked and knocked. Finally they heard me. After being met at the door with a gun (I can check that off my bucket list) they realized it was me. I told them what was happening and of course they said we could leave the cattle there. 

Just as we knock at God's door through our prayers it isn't a disturbance when He wants to help us. Just as I knew our friends would help us. I know God will. I also know that had they found out later we needed to stop but where scared of asking they wouldn't want that. They understand what was happening and where happy to help. I just had to ask. Just as we just have to ask God. 

Remember that even when our prayers may seem like a disturbance, we serve a God who wants a relationship. Talking to Him is the only way that will begin to grow and deepen. Even through the seemingly little mundane things. 

I'm Sore

This morning I woke up extremely sore. Before I tell you why I'm sore, and more importantly why I am telling you all this, you have to promise me something. You can't laugh. Not even a little. Now since you have promised not to laugh at me, you may now proceed reading.

Back to my story. This morning I woke up sore. The reason I woke up sore was because last night I spent over two hours playing Hacky Sack with a few students. It was a great time of talking and playing.

It has been years since I have played Hacky Sack, if I ever did, which I learned last night is really called foot bag. It was fun, as the night progressed I got better and better, still not great but definitely saw improvement.

I spent those two hours talking and hanging out with two of the students I met over the last few months. We did not talk about anything terribly significant. We did not have a "spiritual" conversation. Half the time we weren't even talking, just playing.

But you know what? I would rank what happened last night as one of the most important things I could do ministry wise while serving in Oregon. Why would I say such a thing? How is it that playing a game for two hours is more important than leading someone to the Lord, or discipling Christians to go and make disciples? Because they are people. Not projects.

If I went into every interaction with non-believers with the agenda of convincing them to become Christians I would make them all into projects. No matter how hard I tried not to. If Jesus truly is my standard projects don't exist. He loved people where they where. He didn't push them to become more like him before He loved them. He didn't ask them to change before He loved them. He just loved them. Then this amazing thing happened, they loved Him.

Those two students I played Hacky Sack with may have learned absolutely nothing about "Christianity" last night. You know what they did learn? They learned I love them enough to play a game with them for two hours. A game they had to teach me. I love them enough to play, talk to them about their life, and not push an agenda down their throat while doing it.

I am a reflection of Jesus. By me loving them I am showing them He loves them. If they see how He loves them, maybe they will learn to love Him as well.

Countdown to...?

For the last four years this time has marked a special occasion in my heart, I have been approximately one month away from flying to Nome, Alaska. This year, I am not counting the days until a spring break trip to Nome.

As I sit on my couch, with snow on the ground outside and coffee in my hand, I remember all the wonderful memories that have occurred those four awesome weeks in Nome. The first time I stepped foot in Nome with my Dad right next to me. Meeting so many wonderful people, whose friendships I cherish to this day. It was the first of many times I have been asked when I am moving to Alaska. From that first trip, I knew Alaska was going to change my life and I couldn’t wait to return. I had no idea how much it would change my life, or how many times I would return over the next few years. 

Year two was my first attempt at trying to lead a team, and dealing with canceled flights. I took two amazing girls from my home church back my first year of college and again met so many new and amazing friends. I knew then that I would have the opportunity to spend my summer serving in the state I had grown to love and that I would continue to love more and more. I met people from Texas A&M who are some of my closest friends. And with the help of an awesome friend who took charge, everyone got home safely.

Year three was the time I felt a true and genuine connection to the people, community and volunteers in Nome. I worked in the Iditarod headquarters with the people who run the race. I heard stories from the trail while being in charge of making sure everyone that had to be at the finish line was there when a musher crossed. I was able to allow Cheryl and Candy the opportunity to leave the concession stand for a little while. 

Last year was the year when I was able to go beyond the boundaries of Nome. I traveled to a village to help put on a basketball show for the community. I grew even closer to the people I have worked with for four years. I had the blessing of helping provide locals with items that are not available in Nome. Figuring out how to cook and freeze crawfish was certainly an experience I will never forget. 

Each year brought a new and unique experience to my time serving. Each year I returned built on the previous years, pulling me more and more to a state I love so much. Who knows what the future holds, but I know my past. It has changed and shaped me in ways I never imagined. To all of those who I have worked with over the last few years, keep up the good work. I will miss you all terribly, but I know there is a reason I cannot be there this year. 

Here are a few pictures from all my Nome Spring Break trips. 

Year 1

Year 2 

 

Year 3 

   

Year 4 

My Crazy Jumbled Thoughts

So Tuesday was my 22 birthday. I must admit I wasn't really looking forward to it. I even hid my birthday on Facebook so fewer would know it was Tuesday. And as much as I didn't want them to, the students here discoverd my birthday was on a Tuesday. The same day we meet every week to have dinner together at Ryans house.

After it came out I knew I just had to resign myself to enjoying whatever may come, even though I'm not a big party person, and I really hate being the center of attention. I had talked to Lori (my bosses wife) and new she was planning on having a cake and making it a special, but low key night.

Having been here only a few months, and being gone for one right in the middle of my time here, I just really didn't want to compare this birthday to years past and figured that would be easier if I just didn't really do anything. I kept thinking back to the last few years.

Last year when Caleb informed me we were having a party and he was doing it wheather I liked it or not. Including inviting everyone and not letting me have any part of it. Going to lunch with friends and having everyone who was like family there to help me celebrate that night.

When I turned 20 and got to take friends shooting for the first time. For free!! It was the best and I got to be coached by some of my best friends and their coaches. And watched a friend get married.

As much as I hated the princess theme, my freshman year at Texas A&M I knew how much I was loved when a random group of people I had only know a semester came together to give me a party. 

There are of course all the birthdays at home with my faily that are amazing memories. A blizzard coming on my birthday and stock show. A mentors baby being born on my birthday who makes me feel old everytime I see her and realize I am 17 years her senior.  

All in all this birthday had a lot to live up to and I wasn't really expecting much. But you know what happens when you don't expect much? God suprises you and gives you not only what you didn't expect, but more. 

I have felt loved and appreciate here many times. But none like last night. From talking to family, to working all of it was great. I had friends to celebrate with and it was amazing. I got to see students who are not completly comfertable with Christaians come enjoy spending time in a safe environment and ask questions about what we believe. I was given several wonderful gifts, some pictured and many others. Things I never would have gotten myself but where perfect. I listened to happy birthday more times than I can remember. And overall had an awesome day. 

The fear of being let down, made me scared to look forward to anything. It is more than just on my birthday. It is everyday. Each day I get up expecting so little out of the day. I have to wonder how much God would open up for me to do each day if I would only let Him. 

New Beginnings

Coming back to Eugene after Christmas has brought many new beginnings and several ways to adjust my perspective on a daily basis. 

Learning to see the beauty of each day is something I have had to do daily. Coming from the state of Texas sunshine is what I've grown up with. The constant fog and gray skies has been a little difficult. But each and every gray day has something beautiful in it. I don't have to worry about when it will rain next, or if the grass will be green this spring. I can see the reflection of the street lamps as the fog rolls in thicker. 

Some things I just need to let go of, they aren't as important as I seem to think they are. It isn't all that important that I have to figure out a new schedule. Or that dog hair is on my clothes. They are just little things in the grand scheme of things. Will I let them get in the way of doing all I was made to do? Or will I just deal with them and move on? 

Being free to let go and just be in Christ has become my new lesson to learn. I can either let the gray weather darken my mood and make me sad and depressed every day. Or I can see the beauty of each day and rejoice in all God has given me. 

Generosity

A few weeks ago at church the topic of the night was generosity. After the sermon each week there has been a time of application called "so what." That week during the "so what" we where challenged to give all we had, not the excess. Each person was challenged to remove the shoes they had on their feet and give them to a person in need through the Eugene Mission. 

That night I did not remove my shoes. I had several good reasons. The pair I had on where not my favorite, or even shoes I liked all that much. But I immediately felt that I was to give away my boots. They are some of my favorite shoes, a gift from family, and a connection to Texas while I am in Oregon. 

I didn't do it. I had many opportunities. I kept talking myself out of it. Saying I would give someone something over Christmas. Or saying I had done enough. After all I support missions, I bought Christmas presents for three children in Savoonga. I gave God a year of my life to serve in Oregon. But guess what? All my reason sucked. They where just excuses. And lame ones at that. 

Over the last few weeks I have been reading Crazy Love. This book has made me stop and evaluate much of my life. The last chapter is what really got to me yesterday. Francis Chan challenged everyone reading his book to not just be convicted. If that is all we are getting out of church, his book, or our personal quite time, we are failing. Jesus doesn't want a world of convicted coach potatoes, he wants people radically loving as He loved. 

So I finally broke down and knew I had to do what might hurt. I needed to give something away that tore at my heart so I would be able to be filled with Jesus. Last night I gave the boots away. 

I'm not writing this to say look at what I did. If anything I want you to realize how dumb I am and not be like me. How could I think a pair of boots would offer me love and satisfaction than the creator of the universe. And guess what it wasn't that bad. Sure I will notice they are gone when I go home and just want to country dance in my boots. But guess what, my favorite part of dancing is time with friends and thankfully that is not dependent on my footwear. At least I hope not. And I can always borrow my little sisters boots for a day. 

So here's my prayer for each of you reading this. During this season of giving, give where it hurts. Yours may not be shoes. It may be not saving that Christmas bonus, but giving it away. It may be spending Christmas away from family and instead with those who have no one. Maybe its blessing those around you anonymously. Whatever it is, give until it hurts. Just as the widow with two pennies did. God took care of her and I'm betting He hasn't changed in the last 2,000 years. Trust me it hurts, but its a good hurt. Like getting a massage, it hurts so good.  

100%

Being a 100% in something means more than just committing yourself totally to something. It also means giving up everything that does not line up with the goal you have committed to whole heartily. 

This realization today was a hard pill to swallow. See even though I'm in Oregon and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am supposed to be here, sometimes I don't want to be. I want to be wholly here. Sold out to the cause and place God has put me in. Yet more often than not I still struggle with making that true. 

In order to make the transition from not totally here, to totally be here I have to give up an end date. I can’t focus on June when my “time” here is done. I can’t keep the escape plan in mind. For as far as I know I may be in Oregon for the next decade of my life. Horror of horrors I might meet some guy with a nice job in down town Eugene, with a house where I can spit and hit my neighbors window, and trees surrounding me making me want to escape to the wide open spaces everyday. 

I am here until He moves me somewhere else. 

And that is so hard to swallow. If could guess at how my heart is divided based on the places I am passionate about this is it. 

45% belongs to Alaska. The people there, the work that is being done and that needs to be done. I can't even but words to how much I want to be in Alaska. 

20% belongs to Texas. Home, family, Texas A&M, the life long relationships I have formed there. 

15% goes to the rest of the world. All the places I have heard about and can’t wait to see. 

20% belongs to Oregon. I haven’t been able to totally and completely commit here. To let go of the dreams I have for other places. Thats my struggle. The reason behind me totally realizing how far I have left to go in this crazy journey called life.